Commitment - there are several different types of commitment phobias
Commitment Phobia
Anuptaphobia
Gamophobia
Commitment phobia - is a very painful experience both for the one who engages in the pattern and for those who are involved with that person. Usually the art of pushing and pulling and seduction are the domain of the commitment “phobe.” The answer dwells deeply in the family of origin survival patterns.
The Causes of Commitment Phobia
The causes of commitment phobia varies. People with commitment issues have complained about poor romantic relationships, wither first-hand or through observing their parents.
Other common causes of commitment phobia may
include:- Fear of, or having had, the relationship end without notice or signs
- Fear of not being in the “right” relationship
- Fear of, or having been in, an unhealthy relationship (characterized by abandonment, infidelity, abuse, etc.)
- Trust issues because of past hurts by those close to the person
- Childhood trauma or abuse
- Unmet childhood needs or attachment issues
- Complicated family dynamics while growing up
True commitment phobia is fear of any kind
of commitment that involves other people, not just relationship commitment. It
can involve difficulties making important decisions in all areas of life but
folks with commitment phobia need not be afraid of committing to things that do
not involve other people. They may have no problem buying a house or a car or
getting a dog. Their fear usually is connected with making a promise to another
person.
Falling in love with a person with commitment phobia can be a nightmare. Watch out for signs of commitment phobia before you find yourself hopelessly in love with someone who is not capable of having a relationship. A person with commitment phobia need not display every one of the following symptoms but the more symptoms he or she displays the more likely it is that he or she suffers from the condition.
1. Their past relationships are all short and/or very noncommittal
If your beau has never been married and has had a series of short relationships despite not being all that young, then he or she probably is not likely to commit to a long term relationship in the future either. It’s also a red flag if your romantic encounter has had long relationships but these relationships didn’t involve any serious commitment on his or her part.
2. They are not willing to commit to dates or nights out weeks in advance
Making plans for the future that are not strictly required is a major cause of fear for someone who suffers from commitment phobia. He or she will prefer to make same-day plans or commit only a few days in advance.
3. They are not letting you know whether they are attending your party
Just as a person with commitment phobia will be afraid of agreeing to dates several days or week in advance, he or she will also have difficulties saying "yes" to a party or meeting, unless this is strictly required of them. They may say that they might come to your party or even that they probably will be there. But they will prefer not to say with certainty that they can make it.
4. They use a lot of modifiers when speaking
If you listen carefully, you will hear them use ‘probably’, ‘maybe’, ‘probably not’, ‘I might’, ‘I might not’ and the like much more than other people. If asked when they will be home from work, they won’t say they will be home by 5. Instead they will say that they probably will be home by 5.
5. They are sexually active, perhaps even promiscuous
People with commitment phobia have a need for intimacy like everyone else. But their need is not getting met by being close to another human being. To compensate for this, they may be very sexually active, sometimes bordering promiscuous.
6. Most of their relationships are undefined
If you are in a relationship with a person with commitment phobia, you most likely will not have had any significant conversations with him or her about your relationship. You may find yourself not knowing what kind of relationship you have, despite having been with him or her for several years.
7. They don't say the L-word
People with commitment phobia have difficulties expressing their feelings. They may even be afraid of having feelings. So they are not likely to say that they love you and also mean it
8. They don't like to use the words "boyfriend" and "girlfriend"
If your love interest is very commitment phobic, even the relatively innocent words "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" will signify more commitment than they are capable of. They may simply avoid talking about the status of your relationship, or they may offer some lame excuse for why they don't want to use these labels.
9. They don't have a whole lot of close friends
They may know a lot of people. They may even call them friends. But they don't have many really close buddies. There is most likely no one in their life they can talk to about everything.
10. They are unpredictable
You never know quite how your love interest will behave or what kind of mood they will be in. One day they may be really sweet and seem almost normal and the next day they may avoid you altogether. Their behavior never ceases to surprise you.
An entire generation has succumbed to the condition and the symptoms have been running rampant through cities and rural towns alike. Accomplished women and men have been falling one by one to this recently named phobia and even the strong aren’t safe.
Specialists have confirmed that this condition is part of a social phobia that can be traced back to a triggering event from childhood or a traumatic incident. It’s a psychological condition brought on by numerous factors, yet I think it’s safe to say we’ve contaminated our own water.
A generation bathed in social media, we’ve created a culture that doesn’t support relationships, yet still holds the antiquated expectations of marriage. We’re living in our parents’ past, but are redefining a new dating future. We can’t feel whole without another person, but also don’t know how to be together.
Women and men, but especially women, are self-diagnosing themselves as they lie in their empty beds, their right fingers stiff and gnawed from swiping, their eyes shot from too many seasons of “How I Met Your Mother.” Capable and smart singles are walking around as empty shells, feeling worthless and defeated.
The worst part about the condition is that men and women waste their lives letting it control them. They live quietly under its reign, refusing to believe they they can have happy lives without it.
They can’t see that they can be happy alone, that marriage isn’t something they should worry about. They are hindered by the phobia that this single status will be there forever.
You have this disease, but this disease doesn’t have to control you. But before you can treat yourself in bouts of therapy, you must first properly diagnose yourself.
Staying in relationships that don’t work
You have a tendency to try and push things that should be left alone. You go for men and women not because they’re right, but because they’re there. You settle for relationships and people because you’d rather settle now than strive for something later.
You are so deathly terrified of being on your own that you’ll stay with someone you don’t even like.
Obsessively thinking about marriage, love and future
Your mind is constantly preoccupied with antiquated notions of “the perfect life” and “happily ever after” that you don’t even see how good your real life is. You obsess over things beyond your control, creating delusions and fantasies of a life even cartoons don’t properly achieve.
You forget to look around you and enjoy the moments because you’re constantly obsessing over the wrong ones. Your future husband or wife is never going to find you if you’re too busy creating fake ones.
Feelings of inadequacy
You feel painfully incomplete. You feel as if you’re walking around with a gaping wound, the other half of you missing. You are not completely present when people talk to you because you feel you have nothing good to offer.
You created paranoid delusions in your head. You think that because you are single, you are worthless.
Because you are alone, you have nothing to offer. Yet what you don’t realize is your inadequacy is all in your head. People in relationships look at you in awe of your single status, and if you just started to appreciate it the way others envied it, you’d see how great it is to be alive and just living for yourself.
Inability to spend time alone
You get worked up when you are by yourself for too long. You never understood the idea of enjoying your own company and would rather die before living in an apartment by yourself. You fill your company with friends you don’t even like and have sex that’s so bad it should be illegal.
You don’t want to get used to your own company because you never want to have to rely on it. You figure that if you avoid ever getting to the point at which you enjoy spending time alone, you’ll never have to fall back on it.
Overanalyzing absolutely everything
Whether it’s a text, a chance encounter or a situation that doesn’t even involve you, you have a tendency to overanalyze the sh*t out of it. Down to the single letter, you look for ways to take the tiniest thing and turn it into something it’s not.
You spend minutes, days and weeks overanalyzing strings of words that usually are as empty as the person sending them.
Falling in love with a person with commitment phobia can be a nightmare. Watch out for signs of commitment phobia before you find yourself hopelessly in love with someone who is not capable of having a relationship. A person with commitment phobia need not display every one of the following symptoms but the more symptoms he or she displays the more likely it is that he or she suffers from the condition.
1. Their past relationships are all short and/or very noncommittal
If your beau has never been married and has had a series of short relationships despite not being all that young, then he or she probably is not likely to commit to a long term relationship in the future either. It’s also a red flag if your romantic encounter has had long relationships but these relationships didn’t involve any serious commitment on his or her part.
2. They are not willing to commit to dates or nights out weeks in advance
Making plans for the future that are not strictly required is a major cause of fear for someone who suffers from commitment phobia. He or she will prefer to make same-day plans or commit only a few days in advance.
3. They are not letting you know whether they are attending your party
Just as a person with commitment phobia will be afraid of agreeing to dates several days or week in advance, he or she will also have difficulties saying "yes" to a party or meeting, unless this is strictly required of them. They may say that they might come to your party or even that they probably will be there. But they will prefer not to say with certainty that they can make it.
4. They use a lot of modifiers when speaking
If you listen carefully, you will hear them use ‘probably’, ‘maybe’, ‘probably not’, ‘I might’, ‘I might not’ and the like much more than other people. If asked when they will be home from work, they won’t say they will be home by 5. Instead they will say that they probably will be home by 5.
5. They are sexually active, perhaps even promiscuous
People with commitment phobia have a need for intimacy like everyone else. But their need is not getting met by being close to another human being. To compensate for this, they may be very sexually active, sometimes bordering promiscuous.
6. Most of their relationships are undefined
If you are in a relationship with a person with commitment phobia, you most likely will not have had any significant conversations with him or her about your relationship. You may find yourself not knowing what kind of relationship you have, despite having been with him or her for several years.
7. They don't say the L-word
People with commitment phobia have difficulties expressing their feelings. They may even be afraid of having feelings. So they are not likely to say that they love you and also mean it
8. They don't like to use the words "boyfriend" and "girlfriend"
If your love interest is very commitment phobic, even the relatively innocent words "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" will signify more commitment than they are capable of. They may simply avoid talking about the status of your relationship, or they may offer some lame excuse for why they don't want to use these labels.
9. They don't have a whole lot of close friends
They may know a lot of people. They may even call them friends. But they don't have many really close buddies. There is most likely no one in their life they can talk to about everything.
10. They are unpredictable
You never know quite how your love interest will behave or what kind of mood they will be in. One day they may be really sweet and seem almost normal and the next day they may avoid you altogether. Their behavior never ceases to surprise you.
Anuptaphobia - The fear of being or staying single. You know, like, forever. Medically defined as “a morbid fear of staying or remaining single,” Anuptaphobia is not your run-of-the-mill phobia, and it’s safe to say we’re living through an epidemic.
The Causes of Anuptaphobia
Specialists have confirmed that this condition is part of a social phobia that can be traced back to a triggering event from childhood or a traumatic incident. It’s a psychological condition brought on by numerous factors, yet I think it’s safe to say we’ve contaminated our own water.
A generation bathed in social media, we’ve created a culture that doesn’t support relationships, yet still holds the antiquated expectations of marriage. We’re living in our parents’ past, but are redefining a new dating future. We can’t feel whole without another person, but also don’t know how to be together.
Women and men, but especially women, are self-diagnosing themselves as they lie in their empty beds, their right fingers stiff and gnawed from swiping, their eyes shot from too many seasons of “How I Met Your Mother.” Capable and smart singles are walking around as empty shells, feeling worthless and defeated.
The worst part about the condition is that men and women waste their lives letting it control them. They live quietly under its reign, refusing to believe they they can have happy lives without it.
They can’t see that they can be happy alone, that marriage isn’t something they should worry about. They are hindered by the phobia that this single status will be there forever.
You have this disease, but this disease doesn’t have to control you. But before you can treat yourself in bouts of therapy, you must first properly diagnose yourself.
Staying in relationships that don’t work
You have a tendency to try and push things that should be left alone. You go for men and women not because they’re right, but because they’re there. You settle for relationships and people because you’d rather settle now than strive for something later.
You are so deathly terrified of being on your own that you’ll stay with someone you don’t even like.
Obsessively thinking about marriage, love and future
Your mind is constantly preoccupied with antiquated notions of “the perfect life” and “happily ever after” that you don’t even see how good your real life is. You obsess over things beyond your control, creating delusions and fantasies of a life even cartoons don’t properly achieve.
You forget to look around you and enjoy the moments because you’re constantly obsessing over the wrong ones. Your future husband or wife is never going to find you if you’re too busy creating fake ones.
Feelings of inadequacy
You feel painfully incomplete. You feel as if you’re walking around with a gaping wound, the other half of you missing. You are not completely present when people talk to you because you feel you have nothing good to offer.
You created paranoid delusions in your head. You think that because you are single, you are worthless.
Because you are alone, you have nothing to offer. Yet what you don’t realize is your inadequacy is all in your head. People in relationships look at you in awe of your single status, and if you just started to appreciate it the way others envied it, you’d see how great it is to be alive and just living for yourself.
Inability to spend time alone
You get worked up when you are by yourself for too long. You never understood the idea of enjoying your own company and would rather die before living in an apartment by yourself. You fill your company with friends you don’t even like and have sex that’s so bad it should be illegal.
You don’t want to get used to your own company because you never want to have to rely on it. You figure that if you avoid ever getting to the point at which you enjoy spending time alone, you’ll never have to fall back on it.
Overanalyzing absolutely everything
Whether it’s a text, a chance encounter or a situation that doesn’t even involve you, you have a tendency to overanalyze the sh*t out of it. Down to the single letter, you look for ways to take the tiniest thing and turn it into something it’s not.
You spend minutes, days and weeks overanalyzing strings of words that usually are as empty as the person sending them.
Gamophobia - Fear of Commitment Phobia – Gamophobia. Gamophobia is the fear of commitment, though it can also be the excessive, persistent, uncontrollable and irrational fear of marriage. It is derived from the Greek word Gamos which means marriage and phobos meaning fear
The Causes of Gamophobia
One main reason for fearing marriage is individual observation. An individual can very much observe negative aspects in his or her parent’s marriage that can include abuse or physical violence.
Such experience can turn very obsessive. It can become thought consuming & all negative facets of a marriage can build up into a picture that suggests that marriages are not a good thing.
So, even if you want to get married, the negative thoughts about it are so overwhelming that you develop gamophobia.
While some aspects suggest that marriage can remain good the phobic response forces one to stay away from marriage for good. Gamophobia causes internal conflict & problems that can remain for a lifetime.
Symptoms of Gamophobia
The list of signs and symptoms mentioned in various sources for Gamophobia includes the 9 symptoms listed below:
Irrational fear
Feeling of panic
Feeling of terror
Feeling of dread
Rapid heartbeat
Shortness of breath
Trembling
Irrational fear
Feeling of panic
Feeling of terror
Feeling of dread
Rapid heartbeat
Shortness of breath
Trembling
Gamophobia Treatment
A
number of effective treatments can help gamophobes overcome their fears. But,
gaining awareness about the healthy sides of a marriage through proper
gamophobia treatment plays an important role in reducing anxiety about
marriage.
Taking
help of a professional therapist can give you a good insight & understanding
about yourself and exploring the reasons that keep you from tying the
knot.
The
fear often has underlying reasons it requires an experienced therapist to
identify the root cause. This will let you to make out why you had false
assumptions about marriage and real picture of what a marriage really
is.
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