Givers and Takers

I know a writer of a blog, he did this subject recently.  He says he is a giver.  I have know this person for a while and I am not so sure that I would say that he is a giver.  Nether the less he is a very good writer and I really enjoy all his blogs, even though I don't agree with all of them. He blogs get me thinking, and his blog "Givers and Takers" is no exception.  In the table bellow he has many attributes that falls under the table of a Taker.  That is his problem.  Please don't get me wrong, he is still an amazing person in my eyes.  I guess when one cares for another, one takes the bad with the good.  Oh he has blacklisted me, lol!!

There are Two kinds of people in this world, the Givers and the Takers

How can one tell the difference between Givers and Takers

Givers	Takers
Why shouldn't I help?	Why should I help?
Don't question motivations	Ask "I wonder what they want?"
Ask, "How will this benefit others?"	Ask, "What's in it for me?"
Releasing	Controlling
Finds power and peace in spiritual wisdom	Finds power and peace in externals and things
Willing to be servants	Must be "lords"
Follows the flow with insight	Appears "In control"
Rolls with the punches	Easily overwhelmed
Love unconditionally	"Love" conditionally
High capacity for pain	Low capacity for pain
Bear pain silently and with patience	Whiners
Seldom call attention to themselves	Braggarts
Live confidently, day by day	There's "always something..." to worry about
May be left "holding the bag"	"Squeaky Clean"
Pick up after themselves	Leave damage and behind in them
Sharers	Collectors
What can I do for them?	What's in it for me?
Invest in people	Invest in selves
Willing to give virtually unlimited resources	In need of virtually unlimited attention and support
Dependable	Dependent
No time table	Time, schedules closely monitored
Flexible, open to sudden changes	"Too busy"
No expectation of return	Tit-for-tat
Simply give for the joy of it	Pre-occupied with facade of "gratitude"
Help people change their own lives	Change people's lives for their own ends
Committed to others	Committed to self
Support	Undermine
Energize	Drain energies
Seek opportunities	Seek personal comfort
Constructively critical	Judgmentally critical
Do for themselves and others	Do for themselves only what others won't do for them
Doesn't "use" others to a fault	Manipulative
Releasing	Controlling
Agenda is announced, overt, and open to scrutiny	Cleverly hidden agenda
Trusting of leaders	Distrust any and all leaders
Help unconditionally	Help given until angered
Trusting, able to give the benefit of a doubt	Suspicious, untrusting
Concerned with the essential and important	Perfectionistic and controlling
Defensive/Supporting	Offensive/Attacking
Can face and work through pain	Fear of pain and suffering
Listeners	Needy talkers
Flexible	Live by schedules
Share comfort, confidence	Share discomfort, fear
Gospel-Driven	Legalistic
On spiritual pilgrimage	Resist spiritual transformation
Worships God by giving life as a living sacrifice to God	Worships God according to their own set procedure, schedules, and manner
Forgive, forget, and come back supportive	Don't forgive unless they have to
Spontaneous, fun-loving	Rigid, rule-enforcer
Willing to "break the rules" to show compassion	Live, fight and die by "principles" and "rights"
Willingly give up their own agenda for others	Will stop at nothing to get their way
Focus on becoming transformed for God's purposes	Focus on conforming others to themselves
Concerned with the important	Concerned with the urgent
Willing to pay the price for others' well-being	Make others pay the price for their desires, needs, wants
Permeable boundaries	Impermeable, rigid boundaries
Doers	Whiners
Proactive	Reactive
They come, assist, and when done, leave no "silver bullet" behind	"Humbly" seek "deserved" attention, affection, reward and recognition for efforts
Willing to wash feet, take out trash, do dirty work	Refuse to submit to demeaning tasks below their dignity
Focus on helping others achieve their goals	Focused on titles, position
They can be ignored as long as people aren't hurt	Always must make a point and be heard no matter what the cost
Help facilitate great healing	Cause much pain
Patient	Impatient
No shows	Overly polite, mannerly
Help when others hurt	Cause helpers hurt
Shed tears, feel deep grief when hurt	Don't talk, trust or feel
Accept responsibility for their own behaviour	Mercilessly project responsibility and blame on others
Survivors	Victims
Submit to God's will	God is Aladdin's Lamp
Reality-based	Fantasy-driven "If only..."
"Things" just aren't that important	Materialistic
People are important	My things are important
Internally driven by "grace" values	Externally driven
Welfare-of-others conscious	Status conscious
Expansive	Territorial
Not appearance conscious (e.g. weight, height, clothes, figure, hair, coordination, flashiness)	Hyper-conscious and hyper-sensitive to appearance
Attention tends to be deflected away	Draw attention to themselves by things (jewellery, cars, homes, et al)
Do all they can to protect and uphold their neighbour's welfare	Pre-occupied with comparing others' wealth, benefits, possessions to their own
Generous	Covetous
Spenders	Savers
Utilize all available resources	"Squirrel" things
Maintain confidences, appropriate communication	Gossip, innuendo, behind the back conversations are characteristic
No need for secrets	Keep secrets
Give gifts freely	Gifts have strings attached
Relationship unconditional	Relationship is conditional
Want to reach out	Don't want to get involved
Concerned	Aloof
"I'll be there if you need me"	"See ya!"
Willingly works even amid unfair treatment and conditions	Always expects "something for nothing"
Will undergo humiliation and pain to assist others	Avoid embarrassment and risk for others
Always growing	"Stuck"
Encourages others growth	Restricts others growth
Mistakes are the path to growth	Condemns, punishes mistakes
Don't need to be asked	Appreciate being asked and needed
Takes care of self and others	"Take care of me"
Sensitive and genuinely empathetic to other's pain	Insensitive to other's pain, needs
Is always there for friends, acquaintances, strangers, and even foes	Resists reciprocation of support, sacrifice
Seeks reconciliation	Seeks revenge
Seeks ways to provide help	Helpless: "I can't do it by myself!"
Goes out of their way	Just "too busy"
Performs well even under pressure	Tendency toward overwhelm
If it's not yours, respect it	"Take it and run"
Have learned the "secret" of contentment	"Make me feel good!" (food, money, attention, sex, religion, et al)
Seeks constructive, positive means to achieve goals through genuine dialogue and constructive conflict	Starts fights and perpetuates unrest but longs for "peace"
Always satisfied, but looking for new opportunities for growth	Never content, but unwilling to seek growth opportunities
Future-Oriented	Past-And-Immediate-Present Oriented
Words and promises have meanings	Words and promises can't be trusted
Keeps promises	"Intends" to keep promises
Direct	Indirect
Cooperative	Demanding
Sharing, Open	Controlling
Calls for teamwork for benefit of others	Call for "Teamwork" only for their benefit
Patient	Impatient
Mature	Immature
Sharing	Selfish
Faith is a truly permeating heart-and-soul reality	"Faith" is a shallow external facade
Approachable	Unapproachable
Submits to God's will to be done	High/unrealistic expectations of others to do things the right (i.e. "their") way
Love-driven	Fear-driven
Release everything to God's plan	If you can't control it, kill it!
What will be will be good	What will be will be (fatalistic)
Gospel-Driven	Law-Driven