Father influences their daughters in a huge way, whither its positive or
negatively. The way a father treats his daughter will affect her in many
ways, how she sees herself and what sort of man she will later choice in life. Daughters need their fathers while growing up, fathers should be aware
on how much their daughters need a participating father in their lives.
The most important thing a daughter needs from her father is his
constant presence and reassurance. Daughters need to know that they can always
depend on their fathers and that their fathers will always be around for them.
Daughters will have a lot of difficulties going through
adolescence and it’s very important that she knows, whatever happens, she has a
father that will be there to support her, love her, no matter what!!
Daughters need unconditional love. Love that covers multitude of
mistakes and sin. Daughter need to know that we would give our lives up for them.
We have two ways we express our love, one is telling them and the other is by
our actions. It’s so very important to tell your daughter that you love
them, all the time. It's the most important thing for a daughter to know
that her mother and father are always there and will always make sacrifices for
her. Daughter's that grow up with a hunger for male love (their fathers
love) with be like a ship without a ruder, a ship without an anchor.
Daughters will make many mistakes searching for that love that their
fathers never gave them.
Fathers encouragement and approval help the daughter develop confidence
and a feeling of adequacy. Females judge each other on appearance, so when a
father encourages his daughter to partake in various activities, she has
something that provides her with self-esteem, other than her physical
appearance. Also, she is less likely to depend upon a male’s sexual desire for
her as the determining factor for her esteem and self-image. Fathers who
encourage their daughters give them a huge step up in life. Without that encouragement,
too many women go through life with feelings of worthlessness and despair.
People will influence your daughter but not as much as you will, because
after all you are her Dad.
Family rules and how you implement do this is very
important to your daughter. Protecting and teaching her about things in life, does not take a degree
in psychology.
You have the most influence in their daughter's life.
Your daughter life will be shaped by you.
Your daughter gives you
that power of authority that she gives no other man. Your Daughter will
become alienated from you, if she loses her respect for you. If you are
not around and fail to protect and provide for her, she will look for someone
else to take the fathers place.
Your authority over your daughter is what
will bring you two closer together. If you don't use your authority over your
daughter, and set high standard for her, if you don't act to protect her and if
you don't live a life based on moral principles, your daughter will suffer.
You are after all her role model and how you choice to live your life, is
how she will lead hers.
Daughter boasts about their Dads. How their Dad's play a very important
part in their lives. Daughter adores or hates their fathers, sometimes at the
same time. Your daughter needs your love throughout her life time; don't let
your daughter down.
Your emotional connection to your daughter will help
her cope with depression and prevent her from eating disorders. Show a
real interest in your daughter.
Your daughter needs
you to hug her very often. She needs to know that you will love her
forever.
Men are not
really need for both reproduction and parenting. Women are not just becoming
men's equals. It’s increasingly clear that
“mankind” itself is a gross misnomer: an uninterrupted, intimate and essential
maternal connection defines our species.
The behaviour of mammals is how we bear and raise our young, 20%
of our life span is the legal responsibility of our parents.
Meaning of mammals
a warm-blooded vertebrate animal of a class that is distinguished by the
possession of hair or fur, females that secrete milk for the nourishment of the
young, and (typically) the birth of live young.
Our choices in reproduction are expanding. Women can
reproduce without men. The data on females raising children alone is
encouraging. It’s poverty that hurts children, not the number or gender
of parents.
This
is good, because its women that are both necessary and sufficient for
reproduction. Men are not.
From the production of the first cell
(egg) to the development of the foetus and the birth and breast-feeding of the
child, fathers can be absent. They can be at work, at home, in prison or at
war, living or dead.
Women body produces the egg that starts life. She is the one
to carry the baby for nine months. The man part of conception only takes
a few minutes of his time, and then he leaves......
The women are bonded to her baby as she breast feeds her baby.
Even if she does not breast feed, and bottle feeds, it’s the women that take
care of the baby mostly. Rarely or seldom does the man share
this with the woman?
A woman can have a baby without a man; she needs to secure sperm
from a donor (living or dead). The technology the self-impregnating woman
needs is a straw or turkey baster, and the basic technique has not changed much
since. If all the men on earth died tonight, the
species could continue on frozen sperm. If the women disappear, it’s
extinction.
Ultimately the question is, does “mankind” really need men? With
human cloning technology, just around the corner, and enough frozen sperm in
the world to already populate many generations.
It’s true that men have traditionally been the breadwinners. But
women more and more are becoming the bread winners, gaining better
educations, and their numbers are growing. Men divorce their wives and the
women are left to take care of the children, they are forced to be the head of
the family, they are forced to be the breadwinners. There are lots of
divorced fathers out there that divorce their own kids, when they divorce their
wives. As a result their children are left without a father to raise
them. I don't care, for whatever reason the father is not there. If
the father is worth anything as a human being, he will do everything in his
power to make sure, that his children don't grow up not knowing their fathers.
Take the single mother, the man knocks her up and decides to run for it.
The man does not need to marry her, just make sure that he helps provide
for his kids. Be a father to these kids.
Men are raised by their mothers to be "mama" boys; this
is not a good thing. Boys and girls are no different, only in the way their
mother has raised them, which make men, into insecure people who are then
incapable of taking care of a family. Mothers have a lot to answer too, with
how they raise their boys.
Society has dictated that men should be the one that takes care of
his family, be the head of the household. Wife and children must respect these
men, they are the back bone of the family, well, and that’s how it should be.
This rarely ever happens. Provide for their every need, but when a man
has emotionally baggage that he carries from his childhood, he is more inclined
to abandon his family and start all over again. Raising a family is no
picnic in the park and it requires a lot of hard work, both from the mother and
father!
I know from my own experience, my mother taught us to respect our
father. My mother never disagreed with my father in public. Discussion
was never held in front of us. Discussion where held in the privacy of
their bedroom. My mother opinion with my father counted very much with my
father. It was not that he was the head of the family, and she the wife,
and must obey every command. They really had a very good marriage. As a
father my father was not very good at it. He left my mother to raise us.
My father was always too busy to spend time with us. It was like
not even having a father.
I am a single parent, the father of my children never acknowledge
his children. My children grew up without their father. I am lucky
that they turned out to well-adjusted adults. He provided hardly any
financial support for them; I had to battle on my own!!
Interesting fact
The geneticist J. Craig Venter showed that the entire genetic
material of an organism can be synthesized by a machine and then put into what
he called an “artificial cell.” This was actually a bit of press-release
hyperbole: Mr Venter started with a fully functional cell, and then swapped out
its DNA. In doing so, he unwittingly demonstrated that the female component of
sexual reproduction, the egg cell, cannot be manufactured, but the male can.
Children have a difficult time with divorce. Parents do not consider
the ramifications of the effects of the divorce. Helping minimize the
emotion turmoil the children will go through, parents need to understand and
help their children to cope with all the relating issue that will insure.
Remember, children do not get divorced from their parents, and
parents are not getting a divorce from their children.
In an ideal world, a boy lives with his mother and his father,
experiences a sense of belonging; he grows up to be a well-adjusted person.
When parents no longer live together, the boy life becomes complicated.
Boys are more likely to react to
parents' divorce with anger, academic problems, truancy, or aggressive behaviour
than girls, who may try to please adults by suppressing feelings.
Boys are more likely to suffer from depression when the father
leaves the home, especially when a boy is not able to spend time with him
consistently.
Boys may also lose connection with a mother because she must work longer
hours to provide for the family and keep a home running.
Boys may assume blame for the break-up of a family.
Emotion and financial support
Most divorce men are far more likely than women to maintain their
standard of living after a divorce, while women (who still tend to have custody
of children) find that their economical levels fall significantly.
Moving to neighbourhoods and schools that are less safe and stable may
account for some of the problems boys have in the aftermath of a divorce.
It is critically important that fathers continue to offer emotional
and financial support to their sons after divorce.
Mothers must stop turning their children against their fathers
Thousands of divorced fathers are eliminated from their children's lives
because of the 'implacable hostility' of mothers with custody
Encourage Emotional Awareness
Boys often mask their emotions in order to appear manly. Boys may want to
protect their parents and may refuse to talk about their own pain, grief, and
worry, or they may act out their feelings by misbehaving. One of the best ways
to help your son through difficult times is to encourage him
to identify his emotions and to talk about them. Let him know
that no matter how tired or anxious you may be, you always have time to listen
to him.
Your attitude is also an important factor in how your son adjusts to
divorce. If you consider yourself a victim or look for someone to blame, your
son will mirror your beliefs. If you face your challenges, seek healing and help
for yourself, and do your best to move into a new life, your son will learn
from you.
Divorce is a loss for everyone in the family. You will grieve; so will
your son. But you can also help each other stay connected, look for the
positive, and hang on to your optimism and faith.
Don't try to fix your son's feelings: You cannot do that, no matter how
much you love him. But you can offer understanding, encouragement, and support.
A wise person once said that a family is any circle of people who love each
other. You can make sure that your son always has a loving, connected family
Making the most of visitations
Having a quality relationship with the kids after a divorce requires you
to spend the time needed.
Father reasons for their loss of contact with their children after
divorce
Access
difficulties
Father's
decision to cease contact
Practical
difficulties (distance, finances, work schedule)
Child(ran)
not wanting contact
Legal
injunction
Early
pattern of no contact (prohibiting future contact)
The most frequently used was the difficulties relating to access, many
stressed the importance of the support and encouragement of their ex-wives to
develop the new parental role.
The fathers who received little or no confirmation of their roles as
"fathers" by their ex-wives are the ones that became disengaged from
their children's life.
Fathers mentioned practical difficulties in exercising access which
included the problems of distance, transport, finance, work schedule or the
lack of adequate accommodation, only as a secondary factor in their loss of
contact.
Some fathers referred to the lack of confirmation by their children, or
the children increasingly distancing themselves from their father after the
divorce.
Some fathers mentioned the legal system that prohibited them contacting
their children.
Fathers that have not been able to overcome a pattern of diminished or
no contact established immediately following the divorce.
Being there
Children need their fathers to be actively involved in their lives.
Divorce can cause a distance, both physically and mentally, between a father
and his children. Try to overcome this distance by making an effort to spend
quality time with your children. Your actions directly affect the development
of your children. Children need loving and supportive, active parents in order
to realize their potential.
I write as a mother,
the father of my children forgo the beautiful experience being a father to the
most amazing beautiful, clever daughters. I know my children are searching for
their lost father. I never said a bad word about their father to them.
There came a time in their lives they were extremely angry with me.
They asked me how I could do this to them. Let them grow up,
without a father, not take proper and sufficient precautions. They phoned
their father and arranged to meet him. I never tried to stop them.
They came back with the knowledge that is the type of person that their
father was, that is why they never had a father. My daughters still love
their father, even though he was never a father to them.
I will never
understand how fathers walk out on their kids, when they walk out on the woman that
they promised to love for eternity. Why mothers poison their kids’
minds against the father. Why fathers never fight for the right to have
their kids in their lives.
Fathers are very
important to sons, fathers do a lot of damage to their sons, when they don't
acknowledge and love their sons as they should do. Girls are brought up
to be much tougher, they better equipped to handle the loss of a father that’s
gone, but not gone. Even so they struggle for the rest of their lives.
To be a mother is one
of the most amazing experiences in this life. To be pregnant for nine
months. Those nine months is an experience that no mother can ever forget. The first time the
baby kicks. To hear the baby heartbeat. To watch the baby growth, on
the sonogram. A little miracle growing
inside you, knowing that one day you will hold this child in your arms,
this the greatest gifts. Knowing that the most eternal bond has been made with
the father of this child.
Each generation that passes spend less time with their sons.
Finally fathers are becoming irrelevant in the lives of their own sons.
In additions fathers have less authority. In order for men to be
the bread winners, father and husband skills took a back seat. Men
stopped doing all the things they usually did, they mainly became the Provider,
bringing things home to the family rather than being with the family.
Mother made the fathers into disciplinarians: "Wait till
your father comes home!".
THE PROVIDER The father's position in the family no longer determined on how good a
father was but how well he was as a Provider. The father that did not
support is family very well became an inescapable failure, a disappointment and
a buffoon. Once the father became a part of the work environment,
his family values ceased. He values changed towards work and work became
something else. A place where he could shine.
Father did not slow down when he reached the level where his family
would be provider for; he strove harder for the approval of his fellow workers
and earn praise from them. The father was a working man, and the family
had to understand that they no longer came first.
In his mind, he had moved out. He had gone to conquer the world.
THE BREAD WINNERS
Society decided that women would raise the children and men would go to work.
Fathers became too busy for their children and boys began to grow up without
their fathers. The boys would suffer if there were no other role models in the
form of uncles, cousins, grandfathers and old brothers. Work would take fathers
further away from their families and homes.
Children grow up thinking that a father's life is his work, and families cannot rely on their father anymore. A man, talking about the problems with his son, said, "I don't know what Betty could have done wrong raising that boy. I know it wasn't anything I did, since I was busy working and left it to her. I barely saw the kid so I couldn't have done anything wrong."
LOST FATHER
Boys and for many grown men are searching for a lost father, who never
offered protection, provision, nurturing or modelling. Fathers that are
jail, fathers that never taken responsibility for the children that
they have helped create. Those fathers that don't know how to be a
man with a woman and fill up the divorce court, all those corporate
raiders who want more in hopes that more will make them feel better; and
all those masculopathic philanderers, contenders, and controllers--all of them
are suffering from Father Hunger.
They go through their adolescent rituals day after day for a lifetime, waiting for a father to anoint them and treat them as good enough to be considered a man. They get into trouble, getting hurt and doing things that is bad for them, hoping that their father will come and straighten them out, or at least teach them how to deal with the pain. Take notice that they are alive!! Father has become a fatal deficiency. It’s not too much mother but to little father.
THE MYTHS OF MASCULINITY
The fear of the too-powerful father and the new longing for a father to love, teach and accept his children. The pain, grief and shame from the failed father-son relationship, shown in popular movies which had father-and-son themes that influence things that happen between men and women.
Men feared being like their fathers, and wanted desperately to bond with him, ever if they could never please him.
The most important
determinant is whether the boy will became a man capable of being a real
father, or will he go through life ashamed and pulling back from exposure to
intimacy with men, women and children.
A NEW GENERATION OF NURTURERS
It takes the fulfilment of all these relationships for a boy to become a man who is able to live in peace and co-operation with his community and to give something back to his family. Fathering makes a man--whatever his standing in the eyes of the world-feel strong and good and important, just as he makes his child feel loved and valued.
Parenting is not an efficient process; the old concept of "quality time" is a cruel cop-out. A father who gets to hang out with his children is reliving the joys of his own childhood.
Becoming Father the Nurturer rather than just Father the Provider enables a man to fully feet and express his humanity and masculinity. Fathering is the most masculine thing a man can do.
Will this new
generation discover the healing power of fatherhood? Men who are willing to
risk this, being hands-on fathers.
The most important thing a daughter needs from her father is his
constant presence and reassurance. Daughters need to know that they can always
depend on their fathers and that their fathers will always be around for them.
Daughters will have a lot of difficulties going through
adolescence and it’s very important that she knows, whatever happens, she has a
father that will be there to support her, love her, no matter what!!
