Retaliation versus Revenge

Retaliation versus Revenge

Do people understand the differences between retaliation and revenge — and more importantly, why should this matter?

There is a marked difference between these two concepts and people whose moral code has not been developed enough to distinguish between retaliation and revenge.

How do we define retaliation?

If a person feels the need to retaliate against someone else for a wrong doing, this may mean less a focus on the “what,” but more focus on the “why.” This is a more rational and reasonable thought process. Why did they do this to me? Why did they shame me? Why did they pick on me? Why did they bully me, etc.?

Someone seeking retaliation against a person who has done them wrong in their eyes - making them feel “less than” – justifies their actions by searching for the reason behind the injustice and is simply attempting to even the balance by making the person feel the same way they felt.

What we mean by revenge

A person seeking revenge intends to do something even worse to the person who wronged them: “If I can make them feel worse than I did, then I will get them back better than they did me.” So in their eyes the reasoning is justified because they are intensifying what was done to them.

What’s missing: Accountability?

However, the way a person processes this accountability is to remove themselves from the equation of consequences because they did not start the action taken against them. In their eyes the situation is out of their control from the very start.

The concept of accountability is something we need to educate our children from a very young age about. Who starts something does not dictate the outcome. Each and every person is accountable for his or her own actions. Parents must provide the necessary education and guidance to help their children see things differently than what is seen through their own mind, so they become responsible adults when they grow up.