Sweeping and mopping

About 12 weeks ago I was watering the garden and I heard the sound of a kitten crying.  I investigated and found not one kitten but 5.  ALL the kittens were soaked to the skin.  I took them inside and dried them.  They could not been older than a day.  Their eyes were closed and their ears channel' we'e not opened.  Where the umbiical cord was had not healed.  I took to raising these kittens.  I never did see their mother.  Lots of cats came and go in my garden but the majoity of them are males.

These kittens are now 12 weeks old.  When they were smaller I started to use the brush on them.  They loved it so when either I mop or sweep they go crazy.  They want to be brushed.

How to increase your page views on Blogger, go on restricted web sites and much more

How to increase your page views on Blogger, go on restricted web sites and much more

I write blogs and one point when I started, the number of page views went to my head.  I remembered when I was blocked on going on facebook at work, the first thing that I did was to try and find a way around it.  I did but stopped doing it as I promised not to go on face book at work.

Someone I knew had got the company name I work for from facebook.  They googled the name of the company and found my boss email address.  They started emailing him and their actions nearly cost me my job.  Because of this I asked them at work to block my facebook.

Although the Internet is available for everyone, not all websites are available for all the people across the globe. Sometimes you can find regionally restricted sites, blocked YouTube videos and much more on the internet. For instance, if you try to browse Spotify from India, you will get an error message, whereas it is live and working website in the US.

There are many different sites that one can use.  These sites do not show your geo-location or IP address.

I used these sites to add to my number of page views.  I did not in the least feel good about this and I took my page view counter app of my blog.

I know that someone has been doing this to my blog and I am asking them to stop this.  I don’t need to have a large number of page views.  It means nothing to me.  I am using the blog as a sort of therapy.  Writing ones thoughts and feelings does help.  Learning about different things also helps.

For those that want to increase their page views and also to get large numbers like others do.  The following web sites are good.  Some of these web sites do up to 6 and they are from different parts of the world.

www.localbrowser.com

http://geopeeker.com

http://teleportyou.com

What has love got to do with it?

What has love got to do with it?

The reason for the title of this blog, what has love got to do with it?  When one loves and the love is returned, we know it in our hearts.  We feel so many different emotions.  Our outlook on the world is so much different. We can do anything.

It’s all got to do with how we feel, our emotions and when one gets confused and starts expecting different things from the person that loves us.  Things have a downward swing.

For in all honesty love should never be about ourselves.  Love is unselfish……..

Love is not materialistic and so many of us see love this way.

Give from the heart …………

I have a saying

Things or people that really matter come with a price …….

Anyone or anything that matters is worthy of that price

Love is involuntary.  Brain science tells us it's a drive like thirst.  It's a craving for a specific person. It's normal, natural to "lose control" in the early stage of romance.  Love, like thirst, will make you do strange things, but knowledge is power.  We were built to fall in love.

To me the ability of been able to love stems from when we are born.  If there is no love from a mother, then as we grow up, we ourselves are unable to give or receive love.  To us it might be love but how do we know if we are truly giving or receiving love?  I think that denial of a mother’s love does so much damage and sometimes it can never be reversed.

LOVE is every child right when they enter this world.  A mother’s love is so different from any other type of love.

What is the meaning of a mother's love?

 

A loving mother is a lot more than that. A mom is someone who is there for their children, who loves them no matter what. Who will lay down their life for their children? It's a selfless sacrifice and a mom isn't a mom by just giving birth, but a mom can be a mom to any child even if it's not their child.

Being a parent is not easy.  What we do and don’t do can have consequences far into the future. Do we think what sort of adult our child will become?

Can you remember back to all the people that you have been close to? Lovers, friends and even family members that seem to have a side to them that is really problematic?  That always leads to arguments and disagreements? You wonder what the hell made them like this.

More than often the route of all their problems, stem back to their mothers and father.  They did not receive love from their parents, or too much love?  Parents are not there when they are needed.  Parents are not involved enough.

Characterology was developed by Wilhelm Reich.  This is to categorise people into 5 different groups according to their experience in the family structure.

1.  The unwanted child, a child who felt unwanted, usually by the mother, tend to transfer the perceived hostility into the choices they make themselves and it extends into their relationship.

2.  The needy child, a child that was often adored as babies, but as they grew, and became “people” they were discarded emotionally, left to cope on their own.  This let them to become excessively needy and demanding.  Or they developed an aversion to their neediness.

3.  The endurer, are children of controlling parents.  The child constantly doubts herself or himself, and they have to have their parents’ guide them.

4.  The controller, are children of parents that judged and belittle them.  The parents make them something they themselves want their children to be.  The child them only concentrates on this and hides who they truly are.  These children have a talent to manipulate or get love but deep inside they are crippled with insecurity and self-doubt

5.  The perfectionist, are children that was continually rejected by the parent of the opposite sex and possibly also of the same sex.  The parent is more likely to be a perfectionist themselves.  The child learns that it is unsafe to love sexually with an open heart.  The child will not put herself or himself in a situation that will lead to painful outcomes.

 

 

 

Touch in a child’s development, how important is touch later on with our romantic partners.

 

Did you know that when your baby is born its’ sense of touch is one of its best developed senses?  Of course it isn’t fully developed at birth, but the new-born can certainly feel touch better than what they can hear, see or even taste!

 

A study released on October 8, 2013 confirms the importance of human touch to healthy brain development. Researchers in the UK found that loving touch characterized by a slow caress or gentle stroking increases the brain's ability to construct a sense of body ownership and plays a big part in creating and sustaining a healthy sense of self.

Much like the instinct to lovingly pet an animal, gently touching another person is a reflexive gesture that happens automatically in healthy, loving relationships between a parent and a child, romantic partners, and affectionate close friends. We all know from first-hand experience that being touched makes us feel safe and comfortable in our environment.

A child that is loved right from the start grows up to be a well-adjusted adult who in turn loves unconditionally.  Love is all about emotions that we feel; the different levels of emotions we feel depend on who we are.

The following words that are used with love, Communication, forgiveness, intimacy, respect, compassion, companionship, trust and loyalty.  These things are things that should be present when one loves another. A healthy love - that will survive anything.  Above all else is friendship.

Needless to say all these words apply to any love, so what makes romantic love the thing we as people seek?

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE; where love is given no matter what.  It does not matter how many times another person disappoints us, or embarrasses us, or hurts us to the core; that love is there forever.

SELFLESSNESS is the underlying theme of existence. It’s the glue that holds the world together, and it is, in fact, what we mean by the term ‘love’. Indeed, if we consider religious terminology, the old Christian word for love was ‘caritas’, which means charity or giving or selflessness;

ADMIRATION

1.  a feeling of wonder, pleasure, or approval.

2.  the act of looking on or contemplating with pleasure:

admiration of fine paintings.

 

3.  an object of wonder, pleasure, or approval:

The dancer was the admiration of everyone.

 

To me admiration does not fall into the word category for love.  To have admiration for another, because of who they are, what they overcome and what they do in their lives does not make us loved by them or even the reverse.  I would say if someone says to you that they still admire you, that once they loved you and they were waiting to be loved in return, but that never happened.  Either they stopped loving or they started to pretend that did not feel that way anymore.  To truly love, is to have that person still around, to be able to participate in that person life, even if they just on the outskirts.

 

LOYALTY

With your partner you would want to be faithful to him or her in every way possible.  Loyalty goes beyond fidelity.  Loyalty includes being honest about your thoughts and feelings and being committed to your partner.

One cannot be loyal to a partner if one is not honest with oneself.  When you disloyal to your partner, you’re just fooling yourself.  You have to be transparent, hones and loyal to yourself in order to be loyal to your partner.

 

Loyalty includes emotional fidelity.  One does not physically have to cheat to be disloyal to a partner.  If you flirt with another, or falling for someone else, your are being unfaithful to your partner.

 

Loyalty means never hiding anything from your partner.

 

Loyalty means sharing everything with your partner.

 

Loyalty means never telling white lies. 

 

Loyalty means staying with your partner through sickness and health, in good times and bad times.  Be the solid rock that your partner can always count on, no matter what!

 

IDEOLISED PERCEPTION

We all have an idea what love should be and when we actively seek romance and try to force a relationship, they will rarely work out the way we want them to.  We then feel unwanted, hurt and disheartened.

 

Love comes when we stop looking for it.  It just happens!

 

COMPANIONSHIP

Trust is very essential with companionship and trust must be there for good sex.  Sex is never as good as when there is love.  After sex a feeling that something is missing, something is not quite right, when love is not present.

 

To be a truly loving, a relationship would need to work on a number of levels.  Spiritually, mentally, physically and emotional.  They are all woven and balanced with caring and companionship.

 

Companionship can be better than sex ……………..

 

NURTURING

A relationship cannot work on its own to survive.  It needs care and nurturing of two adults, giving in a way that creates a mutual beneficial connection.

 

Communication falls under nurturing.  The more you communicate, the closer you will be.

 

Walking out that door without working on the problem will not lead to happiness.

 

Doing things together, that brings enjoyment.  What you both like doing and can do it together.

 

Sharing difficult times with your partner and making self-correcting moves and involve your partner.

 

Compliment your partner, give emotional support and make sure you there no matter what.

 

Share goals and dreams, working together to achieve them.

 

Have the desire to be together.  Desire each other.  If the spark has gone, there are ways to rekindle it.  All one has to do is try.

 

Wither the storms together with compassion, acceptance and forgiveness.

That is what a relationship is all about!

 

Experiencing different things will bring a couple together.  Make the bond stronger.

 

TOLERANCE

Put up with the other partner.  This can be it is very difficult.

 

Retaliation is not a very good thing.  It causes so much hurt.

 

Manipulation is something; we humans are a master at this.  We use guilt, disappointment, fear and anger.

 

Admit to mistakes and let go of their mistakes.  Try some understanding it goes a long way and brings more joy into ones live.

 

ACCEPTANCE

Acceptance of others can be much easier than accepting ourselves.  Accepting ourselves can help us accept traits and quirks in our partners.

 

SELF COMPASSION

This can help us enhance our relationship with others and especially with our romantic partners

 

BOUNDARIES

Setting up boundaries was considered a bad thing.  To define a boundary, “the line where I end and someone else begins”.  When the boundaries are clearly defined and respected, one does not need to put up walls.  In a healthy relationship the partners “ask permission”, take the others feelings into account, show gratitude and respect differences in opinion, perspective and feelings.

 

In less than healthy relationships, partners assume that their partner feels the same way they do.  They ignore the fact that is violating their partner’s boundaries.

 

Boundaries are very critical especial in a romantic relationship.  The reason is partners inhabit each other’s most intimate spaces, including physical, emotional and sexual.

 

Communicate your boundaries that work and don’t work.

 

When another person says they love you, what does it mean?

 

I guess in order to understand love, one has to recognise there is many different loves, and depending on the person, how deep and true it goes.

 

A woman saying to a man that she loves him does not necessary mean that it is a sexual love and that she wants to stay with him forever.  She could mean it as loving just as a friend.

 

A man that says he loves a woman is prompted to say so as he is physically attractive to her and has a sexual relationship with her.

 

Love for our children and our parents

 

Love between siblings

 

Love between family members

 

Love for animals ( I mean the 4 legged variety and not the 2 lol)

 

Romantic Love – between two people or opposite sex or same sex

 

 

ATTACHMENT

Attachment theory is a psychological model that attempts to describe the dynamics of long-term and short-term interpersonal relationships between humans. However, "attachment theory is not formulated as a general theory of relationships. It addresses only a specific facet": how human beings respond within relationships when hurt, separated from loved ones, or perceiving a threat.

 

There is danger when attachment is regarded as true love.

 

 

 

I have noticed that people are scared to be alone, that they will settle for second best instead of waiting for the right person to come alone.  I know we don’t know when this is going to happen that means that we need to socialize and have people around us that are just friends. Have a life to live, places to go, friends to visit, hobbies and become all-rounder.

 

The main problem is people look for someone to complete them but in reality if we are lacking in ourselves, we cannot give completely in a relationship like we should.  We first need to work on ourselves so that being alone is something we don’t think anything wrong with. 

 

 

We all need to feel special and that is just not one in a relationship.  The little things can break or make a relationship. Most importantly we need to make the other person feel very special.

 

I do know this that any relationships, wither is between siblings, friends and especially romantic love, have to be worked on continually.  Both people in the relationship are constantly changing, and both needs to keep on what is occurring in the other person’s life.

 

Maybe we are unhappy with our selection, but when something happens and we lose them.  We then realize what we have lost.

drawing

Beautiful Beautiful

"Beautiful, Beautiful"

Don't know how it is you looked at me
And saw the person that I could be
Awakening my heart
Breaking through the dark
Suddenly your grace

Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need you are so beautiful, beautiful

Now there's a joy inside I can't contain
But even perfect days can end in rain
And though it's pouring down
I see you through the clouds
Shining on my face

Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need you are so beautiful, beautiful

I have come undone
But I have just begun
Changing by your grace

Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need you are so beautiful.

Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need you are so beautiful, beautiful (beautiful, beautiful)

Another notch on the Belt

Notch on the Belt Meaning

An achievement. This phrase is usually used in reference to a man; however, nowadays, just about anything goes, so one may hear it used occasionally in reference to a female. Often times, the achievement tends to be selfish and/or refers to something sexual (though not necessarily).

"He does not genuinely love and care about the girl he just had sex with, to him, she is just another notch in his belt."

"He is not in love with me; I do not want to have sex with him and be just another notch in his belt."

"Do not have sex with him. He might care about you, but at best you two are just friends- he is not in-love with you; do you want to be just another notch in his belt?"

"That girl over there- tonight... she will be the next notch in my belt, and then I will move onto the next one."

"I am not ready to settle down. I just want to get as many notches on my belt as I can." 

They stay its good to get it of your chest

They say it’s good to get it of your chest.





I send Whats App to wish my sister a happy birthday.  She never responded until the following day. Her response was "thank you".
I know that things are happening in both our lives.  Some not of our own making and others of our own making................
My sister lost her husband to cancer; I could never imagine how this feels like.  Her whole world must have felt like it had ended.  I guess I was or am jealous of the love they shared, that he loved her and their children very, very much.  No I am not saying that they had a wonderful life.  They must have had their ups and downs but they stuck it out together.
Be strong dear sister; remember the good in all things.  Remember that I always love you!!!
I have done some things earlier on in this year that was not very nice.  I wanted to make a point, but I think it backfired.  Yes it did back fire........... Cause the person involved is incapable of seeing above his own needs, his own insecurities.
Of cause retaliation was in the cards.  He contacted my sister, god knows what he said, but whatever it was, I don't think it was very nice.  This sister is not very forgiving, and will never forget anything that has happened in her life.  This does not apply to the better times in her life, but the worst times that have occurred.
This is something that I never did, I could have contacted his ex-girlfriend, his ex-wife, his children, his mother, but it was between me and him and nobody else.
Except, he never thought like this.  He even contacted my daughter's boyfriend on Facebook.
My daughter and her boyfriend thought him a raving lunatic.  What did my sister think?  Did his actions destroy a sister relationship that already was in the disaster area?
He even contacted my boss? Why? I was through this before when another person sent malicious emails to my boss.  After that, every day was hell, I did not even know if I would have a job still.  Until one day my boss came to the conclusion that this person was out to hurt me.  When I was aware that he contacted my boss, I phoned my boss and apologised.  He must have recalled the other time, and he was much more understanding than I could ever hope for.
He did later contact me, and he wanted an explanation of why I did what I did.  I doubt he really listened to what I was saying.  He told me that he had forgiven me, but would never forget, and promptly blocked me on Whats App.
No loss really, I guess we kind of project things on to people, that they kind, loving, supportive, loyal and when push comes to the shuff we learn that it was an illusion that we are our self are responsible for.
What he wanted was like a 15 day return policy with his relationships.  You know not go down the usual way of developing a beautiful loving relationship and by the end or before the 15 days return policy expired, he could cancel the sale.
People that really know me will know that I am beating around the bush and I have not really come up to what is really getting to me.  People shout at me for this tactic.
Don't ever deceive yourself that giving a person forgiveness, gives you a license to never forget what they have done.  With forgiveness there is healing, in other words with time, things start healing as ones memories become more faded with time, in other words it becomes a blur and what really went down is not remembered clearly anymore.
The first step in forgiveness is to forgive oneself! Cause no one is blameless, and there is usually two sides to a story.  Then only one can extend forgiveness to others, and moving on and forgetting is the best tonic.
What really bugs me that I can't tell others be wary of him, he will just break you and throw you aside when he has got his 15 days use before the refund policy is over and he can't back out of the deal.  He uses dating sites to pick up his next victims.  I guess his guests get free holiday accommodation and food for the exchange of casual sex, and when they leave, will never hear from him again.
I feel very sorry for him as he is looking for the one that will change is whole life, and probably support him when he retires.  That one that makes life worth living, that one that makes life have meaning.
That is just a fairy tale, one has to take chances and take risks in order to get the benefits and I see the relationships that have lasted, there is so much work, from both parties that go on, extremely hard work but I guess it’s really worth it, just to have that one person, that is above everyone else.
It would be wonderful to have a partner in my life, someone to love me, someone I can love.  Someone that would worry that I am not home yet.   Someone that shares everything with me, that nothing I can't share.
Relationships are usually built on sexual attraction, sexual gratification, and when sex is not in play, there is nothing left to hold it together.  People go head first into a relationship, sex first and expect the rest to follow.  More likely the rest will not follow, what’s the point?  After the object is met and sex is got, why the bother to get to know each other. Sad, very sad!!!
I have someone in my life.  No we have not met, but we have come to know each other.  And no even this kind of relationship is very hard.  We sure can fight, and swear and call each other names, yet we still together and yes we do have to forgive a lot, and yes we can't keep remembering the shitty stuff.  The bottom line is we there for each other; I guess he is more there for me than I am for him.  My life is ups and downs, sometimes more downs than up.  There is one thing my life would totally be fucked without him, He is the reason I want to get up in the morning and he is the reason I can sleep at night.  And my day starts really shitty if I don't hear from him in the mornings
I watched the film called the "octopus", it’s about this man whose wife has found another man and he decides to go to this hotel.  This hotel is like a dating site, where people found their soul mates, but they have 45 days to do so.  At the end of this time if they have been unsuccessful they will be transformed into animals.
For people that only watch movies on their rating, I don't think this movie would be rated very high.  One should watch it, it shows how desperate people become to have a loving partner in their lives and they are not left alone to face old age by themselves.  The movie is different and the cast has good actors.
Every relationship has its challenges.  It comes in different ways and forms.  I guess it test us to our limits and puts a strain on any relationship, it does not matter how wonderful a relationship it is, a single straw can break a camel’s back.  I know it’s only a saying, but what it means to me is that a relationship can go through some very difficult periods but it’s the stupid things that can end that relationship.  A simple sentence that is translate incorrectly and taken the wrong way, feelings of hurt and rejection following these words.  And all it required was to hash it out and clear the air.
The one night I returned home from work and found several people outside by the boxes that have the fuses that control the supply of electricity to the various houses.  Apparently in South Africa, they use the powder from these fuses to make a deadly drug, and they sell these drugs to the kids.  As a result there were two houses that did not have electricity, and they were wondering whom to contact.
They did contact the neighbourhood watch and these people got in contact with the municipality and the problem was resolved.  The neighbourhood watch came to my door and said I must be more aware as they are sure that these people stole the fuses so they later could launch an attack on me, as I am living alone.
I felt fear paralysing me, and the more I thought on it, this did not make logical sense, why did they not take out all the fuses until they got to the fuse that controlled the electricity for my house.  Fear is terrible thing to experience.
I decided fear would not become my prisoner, if they want to come let them, if it’s meant to be my time, then so be it.
People would say it’s the area I am staying in and I know it happens even in the rich areas of where I stay.
I also know that drugs are mostly responsible for what goes down.  People with young teenagers have lost their children through drugs.
Nobody can control the effects of drugs; drugs are the enemy that take control of one’s life.  When one takes this road, there is not really much hope of recovery.  It would be a life time of having a completely fucked up life.  It's not a solution to any problem, a few hours of bliss, to come crashing down, and losing everything one has in one’s life, work, home, friends and family, they all just disappear.
Advice for those who are travelling, or maybe one day thinking of travelling.  Remember to keep all travel documents up to date.  God knows if there is an emergency and you would have to travel at short notice and only to discover, oh shit, passport is outdated.  Educated yourself on the travelling requirements before booking and make sure you ask question.  Spend a few more rand on getting travel insurance, so if shit hits the fan, it would cost a nominal fee to reschedule the flights.
My daughter and her boyfriend made plans to visit my other daughter in the UK.  Her boyfriend was under the impression that he could travel out of South Africa, using his Portuguese passport.  Only to discover before the flight that it not allowed for South Africans to fly out of the country on a passport from another country.
It's been a very hard lessons for them both, a lot of stress that has made my daughter physically ill.  I can't imagine how he is feeling right now.  My daughter still went to the UK.   I just wish I could do more but I looked it up and there are no more emergency passports or temporary passports for South Africans.  It will take from a week to two weeks to get his new passport.  For South Africa that is amazing.  The Department of Home Affairs has a very good turnaround time.  Any way who of us as never made a mistake?  My love and my pray, go to them.  Stay strong and believe, everything will work out, never give in ..............Even if you think the situation is beyond your control, don't believe that, JUST DO IT!








I had a call from the security company that the alarm at my house went off.  They later phoned to say that the garage door was open and everything else seemed to be in order.  The only way that the garage door was open is if it had been broken into.   One of my work colleges went with me to check up with me.  He never asked if I required help, he just gave it to me.  Sometimes people shock me, because they do things without any rewards what’s so ever.  Sure enough the garage door look had been tampered with.  The security guard had closed the garage door.  I switched off the alarm, expecting to find when I opened them, to found that things had been stolen.  Everything was as I had left it.  I was thinking the words, thank God; it would have been a sit back to replace the lawn mower that is all that I seemed to be worried about, lol.
Again the fear set in.  Now I am not so lack with setting the alarm at night.  Making sure that everything is locked up for the evening.  One reason why I got slack in the evenings is when the alarm did go of at night; I would kind of have a panic attack.  Now I must just deal with it if it goes off and get the security company to come out and just check the place over.
It’s just something that I must learn to control, this terrible fear, and fear usually comes from the unknown, and how can I be hurt from the unknown, something that might never ever happen and if it does that I have the strength to cope with it and the people in my life that care enough to be there for me.








I have been living in this house for just over a year now and a couple of months.  I fall in love because of the garden.  It has an amazing garden, with tons of plants and some really amazing flowering plants.  It's so much different than living in a flat, it seems like everybody business becomes yours, and to be truthful I was not used to having other people basically living on top of me, so to say.  I was very unhappy living at the flat.  With the house I regained my freedom to my privacy and I don't have to put up with other people and how lazy they all are.
My debts are now my own and not everyone mine.  If the owners or tenants did not pay, then the municipality bill would not get paid, and then, even I that did pay on time every month, would have to face the fact that the electricity would be cut off by the municipality. The one time the electricity was off for several weeks.  So you can see why I was so happy to get out of that situation, and it was like everything was meant to be.  Sold the flat very quickly, and got another bond very fast.
Not long after settling in, I heard this cat cry by my front door.  This cat was soaked right through to the skin.  I took her in and dried her with a towel.  She was the first of the cats that would be coming to my home.  This cat came into my life when I need someone.  She is a calico cat and they are extremely loving and caring.  The ideal cat, for those who need a bit of love and attention.  Now I have 8 cats in total.  The last was a mother cat and her two kittens.  She decided to have her babies in one of the flower pots outside.  She is so temperamental, but again I never had an option.  She can be so loving, and so are the kittens.
I come to the point in the story, that the kindness of people totally over whelmed me.  I had just gone to the pets store to get 40kg of cat litter, and as I was leaving this woman arrived and she had cat food that she was giving as donations.  I asked if she knew of a place that I could buy cat food as cat food is very expensive, and you can imagine the amount of cat for that the cats and kittens eat in a month.
I told her why I needed to know where I could purchase cat food cheaper, the next thing she had donated over 12 packets of cat food.  A mixture of food for adults and kittens.  I got to my car, and I just broke down and cried.

I had come to a stage in my life that I had forgotten that people can be kind and generous and caring.  It kind of restored my believe in humans again.  That not all people are just thinking about themselves.  I must remember to continue this chain of giving.  It’s very rewarding to be able to give.