Understanding Chronic pain

One needs to understand what chronic pain is. Chronic pain persists over a long period of time and is usually resistant to medical treatment. Acute pain, is a response to a specific injury, and is usually treatable.

Chronic pain can be related to a number of medical conditions, diabetes, arthritis, migraine, fibromyalgia, cancer, shingles, sciatica and from previous trauma or injury. Environmental and/or psychological factors, chronic pain can worsen.

Pain management is there to provide relief of pain and improve an individual’s level of functioning in daily activities.

There are a number of medications that have been used in pain management. These are acetaminophen, ibuprofen, aspirin, COX-S inhibitors, anti-migraine medications, sedatives, opioids, and antidepressants.

There is nonmedical treatment in pain management. These include exercise, physical therapy, counselling, electrical stimulation, biofeedback, acupuncture, hypnosis, chiropractic medicine, and other treatment.

SOURCE:
MedTerms.com. Chronic pain

Chronic pain usually is accompanied by other symptoms that result from the continual pain. These can include insomnia or poor quality sleep, irritability, depression which includes mood changes, anxiety, fatigue and a loss of interest in daily routine. Pain can also trigger muscle spasms that will lead to soreness or stiffness.

This is a very interesting bit of information. Pain can become worse because of a “wind-up phenomenon” that causes untreated pain to get worse. Nerve fibres transmitting the painful impulse to the brain actually become “trained” to deliver pain signals better.

The intensity of the signals increase well above the need to get the person’s attention and to make matters worse the brain becomes more sensitive to the pain. In other words, the pain worsens though the injury or illness has not progressed. In other words, this signal is no longer helpful.

The goal when a patient consults a doctor is that the cause of their pain is found so a cure can be found, so the patient can resume a normal life, without being on medication or further professional health care.

There are many illnesses that have no know cures, especially illnesses such as diabetes and high blood pressure which is usually long time illnesses. Medication is often needed for the rest of the person life.

Understanding that chronic pain is no different from diabetes or high blood pressure. A person cannot be said to be addictive because they need pain medicine for the rest of their lives any more than a diabetic could be said to be addicted to insulin. 

The brain localises pain that is from the skin or muscles, this is somatic pain, and that pain is usually resolved quiet quickly. Somatic pain can be treated with non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs such as ibuprofen or naproxen or with Tylenol, sometimes opioids can be used.

Some people that develop pain that never goes away, fibromyalgia and chronic back pain full into this category.

Depending where the pain originates from can makes it difficult for a person pinpoint where exactly is the pain. The connections from pain sensor in the internal organs to the brain are less sophisticated than the nerve connections from the skin and muscles. Gallbladder problems can cause pain to the right shoulder. Visceral pain is from acid indigestion or constipation and very easy to recognise. Visceral pain is very easy to treat with over the counter medication. Visceral pain from gallstones or appendicitis can be treated with surgery.

Pain in the bones from a bruise or a fracture is temporary. Pain from bone cancer, osteoporosis (softening of the bones that often appears in older people), osteomyelitis (an infection in a bone), or arthritis (inflammation of the joints) can last a long time. 

Muscle spasm, such as charley horse or cramp, can cause severe pain especially in the back. Pain medication alone may not be able to resolve the pain. Muscle relaxants such as cyclobenzaprine (Flexeril) or baclofen (Lioresal) may be needed to relax the muscles 

All pain comes from nerves. Nerves transmit painful impulse to the brain. Not all pain arrives from nerve ending but from irritation along the length of the nerve. Sciatica is caused by the pinching of the sciatic nerve, which goes from the leg to the spine. The pinching takes place near the lower part of the spine but the pain is perceived as coming from the nerve ending in the leg as the pain is usually felt in the legs. 

This is called peripheral neuropath. Another peripheral neuropath is from ruptured discs in the spines, which pinches nerves. Common diseases that often cause peripheral neuropathy are diabetes and AIDS. 

Nerve pain can feel like a painful "pins and needles" sensation. This kind of nerve pain can be treated with tricyclic antidepressants. Other, more severe nerve pain can be described as a sharp, stabbing, electric feeling. Anti-convulsants (medicines that treat seizures) can be used for this kind of nerve pain.

Some nerve pain is due to loss of a limb. The arm or leg that has been amputated feels like it's still present, and hurts severely. This kind of nerve pain, called differentiation, or "phantom limb pain," can be treated with clonidine (Catapres) (a blood pressure medicine that also relieves nerve pain). 

Does chronic pain affect the body as well as the brain?

Growing up, my mother installed in her daughters, the hatred of doctors.  My mother got polio when she was just three years old.  She had numerous operations and was in hospital for a very long time.  It’s no wonder why she hated doctors so much.  My mother was in a teaching hospital, and the interns would do their regular morning rounds with a doctor.  The doctor would ask the interns, why my mother was there and was the diagnoses was, and what the treatment was.  My mother was so used to this, she knew the answer by then, and the doctor would say to the interns, shame on you, even a kid knows the answers.

My mother would refer to everything being muscular; I guess she was so used to that, growing up as a kid, because polio attacks the muscles.

Growing up as children we would often think that it was in our minds.  All my sister and I would withhold going to the doctor.

My eldest sister has a very bad back, not sure if this conditions is inherited or for other reasons.  She has had several operations on her back.  The last operation was over a year ago.  Everyone tells her that she should be fine by now and she should not be experiencing chronic back pain.

She had been putting of going to the doctor, in a way not sure, if this back pain was in her mind.  She knew a MIR was necessary and she also knew that the medical aid would not be willing to pay so soon after the first MIR.

Finally she did go to a doctor, and the doctor put her on medication that was for mind control, now with my sister, that is the wrong thing to tell her as she already thinks that it is in her mind already.

It’s a fairly new treatment that they are trying, for some people it works.  What they mean by mind control, the drug prevents messages reaching the brain, the brain no longer receives the messages from the parts that are sending the message, in the case of my sister, and it was her lower back.  The drug did not help very much with the pain but what my sister did find she could think clearer than she normally used to do.

When we are in pain, it's hard to think about anything else. The pain takes over; we turn inward. Daily tasks such as getting dressed or making dinner take a great deal more effort. It's hard to stay focused and proceed from one step to the next.

What happens then to someone with chronic pain? Does the continual presence of pain change the brain both physiological and anatomically?  If so, are these changes reversible? A recent article(link is external) in the Journal of Neuroscience suggests that the answer to both of these questions may be yes.

In this study, eighteen adult patients with chronic low back pain were studied. The investigators performed functional MRIs on the patients before and six months after they received treatment for their pain. During this same period, brain scans were also taken from sixteen healthy, control participants. The investigators found several areas of the cerebral cortex that were thinner in patients than in controls, including a region in the frontal cortex called the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (DLPFC). This area may play a role both in pain modulation and in the performance of attention-demanding, cognitive tasks.

During the brain scans, participants performed a cognitive task which consisted of distinguishing a visual target from other characters. Although patients and controls performed the task equally well, the patients showed more activation of several brain regions including the DLPFC. Since pain is an attention -demanding process, the patients may have had to exert extra effort to stay focused on the task, and this effort may have been reflected in increased brain activity.

After treatment, (spinal surgery or joint block), the majority of patients experienced pain relief. Strikingly, the thickness of the DLPFC increased in every patients who reported an improvement in his or her pain, while the DLPFC did not show an increase in thickness in two out of the three patients who did not respond to treatment. Patients whose pain had subsided also activated the DPLFC to a smaller extent when performing the cognitive task. Indeed, activation of this area now resembled that of control subjects.

When an individual recovers from chronic pain, it's not only the body that recovers. The brain recovers too.

Finally my sister medical aid agreed to another MIR, they did find another problem, they are not so sure on the treatment plan, and they are doing numerous test, which are very expensive.  I know that this brings huge relieve to her, as feeling that the pain is all in her mind, is terrible to feel this way.  Also the fear of another back operation.

Never Doubt [yourself]

Someone believes in you

Never ever flinch

Someone is waiting for you

Never ever cringe

When they are looking

That means they like what they see

When you noticed them listening

You have something interesting to say

When they laugh

You make them happy

When they talk about you

Be glad that they have time for you

When they take something from you

That means they treasure what you own

When they say they love you

Never doubt; they may mean what they say

When someone says they care about you

Give them a chance; you may miss out 

Kay Barcelon

Why should religion have an impact on a relationship?

Why should religion have an impact on a relationship?  People should respect other people’s believes.  People in a relationship should have a clear understanding of how and why their partner’s faith is important to them.  Like all subjects, religion, people should be able to discuss with their partner’s why their faith matters to them, and how it effects their life’s

Religion choices are usually dictated to us by our parents.  Whatever religion our parents adopted, is the religion we will follow.  How our parents handled their religion would be how we would. 

I look how religion affected me growing up.  My father placed no value on religion, but he always respected my mother’s religion. My mother’s religion was Methodist at first; I guess that is the religion that her parents followed.  As time went on, it was the Catholic Church that inspired my mother. It was the Catholic priest that took the time to visit my mother, in hospital, when she was a little girl.  Let me explain my mother’s life for you, so you can have a better understanding.

When my mother was about three years old, she got polio, in those days, many children died.  The doctors did not know about polio in those days, that muscles affected by the illness could be kept alive by the simple method of keep those affected muscles warm.  My mother was in hospital for a very long time.  Many times they thought she would die.  She went through many operations, where they cut out the dead muscles.  They put her in a body cast.  She could only lie on her back and stare at the ceiling.  Her mother taught her to read at the age of four.  The Catholic priest also visited my mother, for the priest, my mother’s religion had no bearing on his visits.  He saw a little girl that needed attention.  I know that the priest never tried to convert my mother.

Later on in my mother’s life, the Catholic priest came back into her life.  Again the priest came and just talked to my mother.  My mother was in a wheel chair, and could not drive a car.  The few friends my mother had were amazing; they would come and fetch her and take her to their house, or take her to have her hair done.  My mother was not always in a wheelchair, she wore catapults on both legs, with special shoes attached to the bottom of them.  One day the dog, jumped up at her, she fall and useable muscles in her legs were damaged. 

My parents were not rich people, and for a while my mother got around on a piano stool, that had wheels on the legs.  You know coming to think of it, I never gave it a thought how my parents took care of us children.  They send us to a Catholic Convent, not because of the religion, but because it was a private school and the education level was much higher than the government schools.  The sacrifices they made for us.

My father had no religion; he never took my mother to church.  The visits from the priest, the kindness he showed her.  This is what convinced my mother to change her religion, and become a Catholic.  The priest would come once a week and hold a mass for her.

My mother insisted that all her children convert also.  Even though we all went to a catholic school, we were never made to take part in the religion lessons or attend church.  I never gave it one minute thought about converting, religion had never played a part in my life before, and I just went with what my mother wanted.

When my eldest daughter was born and I wanted to have her baptised in the Catholic Church.  There was no opening for to be baptised for a while.  They were booked for a while with christenings.  As soon as the priest learned that I was a single mother, he arranged for my daughter to be baptised immediately.  This is something I did not like about the Catholic Church; they believe that the child is born with the sins of the parents.  I had a hard time in understanding this belief.  Though I think it came from Adam and Eve, when sin was first brought to this earth that all babies would then be born with sins, because of Adam and Eve.

When my second daughter was born several years later, I never got her baptised in the Catholic Church.  I was much older then, and I decided, I will let my children decide what religion they would follow.

Today, both my daughters today don’t follow any religion or go to church.  They are good people, and have very good values, and personally I feel this is all that one needs these days.

I, myself don’t follow or practise religion.  Yes, I do believe in God and try and live my life the way God wants me to.  When I look at people that practise and follow a religion, my heart grows heavy with sadness.  You would think that because these people do have a religion, they would be better people.  Not so, it seems that they don’t practice what is preached to them.  Hurting other people and not helping others, seems to be the trend these days.  People lack of compassion for others, they hold grudges and rarely do they forgive another people.

There is no religion that is better than another religion.  Why religion could have an impact on others, not because of the religion itself, but because of the way religion is practised by individuals.  Those few individuals that actually practised what is the bible:  practise their religion by going out and doing good deeds, these people inspire others to follow their certain religion.

Oh how I hate those people, that don’t even practise their own religion, and then they make such an issue of theirs partner’s religion, because it different from their own.  All of a sudden religion matters to them? Why?  It’s beyond my understanding.  If your partner has a different religion and you don’t even follow your own, why must this become a problem?  Even if people did follow their religion, have very strong beliefs, why must this be a problem?

Explore your own religious identity.  . Take the time to remember your past – your childhood, your family, the moment you decided to pursue your faith regardless of what your parents or friends told you to do. Have you had any life-changing religious experiences? After reflecting and remembering these things, take a serious inventory of life as it is now. Find the most important aspects of your faith, the practices that mean the most to you, and the “deal-breakers” you have, if any.

Once both people in a relationship have examined their religious identities, it’s time for discussion. While discussions about religion can be uncomfortable, emotional, and downright antagonistic at times, letting these issues simmer will only cause trouble. In that regard, it’s no different from other potentially difficult issues. Unlike some other issues, religious differences can take a longer time to resolve.

Another useful thing to do is to separate your culture and your religion. Are you attached to a practice because you remember it fondly from your upbringing, or because your faith is a part of that practice? Prayers before bed, coming of age ceremonies, and more are often regarded as religious activities. They are often still practiced by people who do not consider themselves very religious. It’s important to know where you stand. If your diet or your morning routine is things you’ve done all your life but don’t impact your beliefs, could you give them up for the sake of the relationship? Or, do you truly believe those things are necessary for your spiritual growth?

Realize that if a compromise is reached, it must be one that will not cause either partner to resent the other. Having core beliefs challenged is difficult for everybody – remember that in conversation about these issues. You’re in a relationship with your partner for a reason. Remembering why you love them in the difficult moments will bring you back to a healthy, non-destructive perspective. Though hard, it is possible to have honest anger or frustration while still loving somebody. Our culture demonizes anger, but healthy couples understand how to express it without harming their partner.

When you discuss the differences in religion, share the stories you took the time to remember and reflect upon. As Mr Rogers, perhaps the kindest and wisest man America has seen, said, “It’s hard not to like somebody once you know their story.” Sometimes the people we love are the hardest people to like. You may discover a new facet of your partner that is beautiful and strong. It may not be easy to understand, and you may have a hard time relating to it, but spiritual intimacy adds new depth to a relationship. You knew before how they relate to you, but now you can see how they relate to God, the universe, or the world in a more accurate way. It may amaze you.

The boy who put his finger in the dyke

My father told me this story many years again, of a young boy that put his fingers in the dyke, to save Holland, as the Netherlands was called in those days.

My father was born in the Netherlands. He emigrated with his family, to South Africa, when he was a teenager.

My father explained to me that dykes were used to claim land back from the sea.

The Netherlands actually grew larger with the aid of dikes and polders, making the old Dutch adage "While God created the Earth, the Dutch created the Netherlands" come literally true.

The story, of a young boy that put his fingers in the dyke, was invented by an American writer, Mary Elizabeth Mapes Dodge.

Mary Elizabeth Mapes Doge began her writing carrier in 1865. She published her book Hans Brinker, otherwise known as the Silver Skates. Her book became an instant best seller. It became a children’s classic. She carefully did research on the Netherlands, and her Dutch neighbours helped her also.

Many Americans visiting the Netherlands were disappointed because nobody could show them the dyke where Hans Brinker plugged the dyke with his fingers. The demand from American tourist became so high, that in 1950, the Dutch Bureau for Tourism placed a statue of Hans Brinker at Spaarndam. The sculptor’s name was Grada Rueb.

In 1954, the story was rewritten by a dutch autor called Margreet Bruijn, it was called
Een nieuw verhaal naar het oude boek van Mary Mapes Dodge, illustrated by Maarten Oortwijn.

She placed the story in Spaarndam because of the statue which is also known as Hans Brinker. 

The inscription beneath the statue is in Dutch and English and it reads:

Opgedragen aan onze jeugd als een huldeblijk aan de knaap die het symbool werd van de eeuwigdurende strijd van Nederland tegen het water.

Dedicated to our youth, to honour the boy who symbolizes the perpetual struggle of Holland against the water.

The Dutch tactfully used the word "symbolizes" because the story isn’t a popular folktale in the Netherlands, but thanks to the statue at Spaarndam, American tourists can visit the "Dutch" hero that originated in an American novel.

The story

This story is a legend, Dutch dykes were made out of clay, and a finger in a dyke will not help to save the day

Many years ago a young boy by the name of Hans Brinker lived in Haarlem with his parents. His father was a sluicer. A sluicer is a man who opens and closes the large oaken gates that were placed across canal entrances to control the amount of water flowing into them.

One day when Hans was walking home after visiting a friend, he heard the sound of trickling water. Hans went too investigated and he saw a small hole in the dyke. Hans put his finger into the hole and the leak stopped.

Hans stayed that like that all night. He was numb with cold. Daybreak came and a clergyman, who was returning after he had visited the bedside of a sick parishioner, heard Hans, who was groaning in pain. The clergyman saw Hans, and immediately set off for help.

This story is told to children to teach them that if they act quickly and in time, even they with their limited strength and resources can avert disasters. The fact that the Little Dutch Boy used his finger to stop the flow of water is used as an illustration of self-sacrifice. The physical lesson is also taught: a small trickle of water soon becomes a stream and the stream a torrent and the torrent a flood sweeping all before it, Dyke material, roadways and cars, and even railway tracks and bridges and whole trains.

Why are Dutch people leaving the Netherlands?

A record 150,000 people are set to leave the Netherlands in 2015, according to Jan Latten, who heads the social demographics department at the national statistics office CBS.

Unrest, too little space and bad attitudes are the main reason Dutch people considering emigration are leaving the Netherlands to live abroad, according to a study done by the Emigration Fair.

The Emigration Fair is taking place on February 13th and 14th in Expo Houten in Utrecht. 11 thousand people who bought tickets were asked about their reason for departure.

Most, 24 per cent are looking for more space, tranquility and a natural environment in which to raise their kids. Only slightly less, 23 percent gave bad attitudes in the Netherlands as reasons. 16 percent are leaving for a job and another 16 percent are leaving to enjoy their retirement.

The refugee crisis is a good reason to leave for 13 percent of respondents. Crime and traffic jams play a smaller role with 5 percent and 3 percent respectively.

About 3 percent of the total Dutch population is considering emigration. About 148 thousand people leave the Netherlands each year, a 41 percent increase compared to 10 years ago. 

Belgium, Germany and Spain have always been popular with Dutch émigrés, Scandinavia is also growing in popularity, Latten said.

Over the past 20 years, 2.2 million Dutch nationals moved abroad, and around half of them eventually returned home.

‘This could be because they no longer have a job, they are homesick, have health issues or grandchildren,’ Latten said. Given that some 200,000 immigrants and refugees are expected in the Netherlands 2015, the population will grow by around 50,000 in 2015, the Telegraaf said.

This means the population of the Netherlands could top 17 million in 2016.

Needy men are on the rise...

Women get plenty advice on the following, not too be clingy, not too be demanding, not to be too controlling, I guess such traits seem to be a “woman” thing!

Just how do men escape being labelled? All evidence points to the fact that men aren’t just as needy as women are but, in fact, even needier?

Long gone are the stereotypical emotionally-cold men who dread the thought of the ‘ball and chain’.

The needy man epidemic has been rising in recent years. Women are with the ‘but do you think he likes me?’ worries that our mums and older sisters had – we’re more worried about how to ditch the needy men asking us out.

There has been a lot written in recent years on women’s independence from men. The book written by Hanna Rosin’s - The End of Men: And the Rise of Woman to Atlantic.

Hanna Rosin's claims that we are now actually living under a matriarchy or very soon will be. Rosin's book teems with examples of the decline of modern man and the rise of woman in terms of money, education, employment and power. Men, she argues, have been the major victims of the recession, failing to adapt to the decline in manufacturing industries and to the challenges of post-modernity. If you believe her, vast numbers of the male working class have been transformed from proud breadwinners to unemployable couch potatoes. Their womenfolk, on the other hand, have seized the opportunities offered by the economic changes of the last few years; they have retrained, re-qualified and taken the driving seat.

Women, no longer rely on men as they once might have. But while the needy man is on the rise – the not-so-needy independent woman is too. Girls don’t ‘need’ boyfriends anymore. We can support ourselves financially, enjoy casual relationships with no stigma and go on as many dates as want, whenever we want.

Women no longer rely on boyfriends to take them on dates or give them security, because they can find it elsewhere. Women are more focused on climbing up the career ladder and getting a decent salary, rather than worrying about how to ‘bag a man’.

Now the men who are trying to hurry a relationship on from the casual dating stage to become a full-blown relationship, to living together in a very short time.

More female students than male students graduate from university. Afterwards, more females than males - get jobs.

It’s been reported that companies led by women perform much better. Women are more educated, successful, financially self-sufficient, and thriving, on their own than ever before.

Men, on the other hand, are going in the opposite direction. There is evidence of this, in addition to the statistics that show women’s rise in the workplace. 

Recent studies reveal that men are becoming more interested in commitment and attachment while women are becoming more interested in autonomy and independence.

Wives, now, are more likely initiate divorce. Divorced men, meanwhile, are more likely to remarry.

Then, too, there is the documented fact that elderly men are much more likely to die after losing a partner than are elderly women. Men can’t even shop for themselves, and it’s not hyperbole:

Men are less decisive shoppers than women and more likely to require a second opinion from a sales person when making a purchase.

The male desire for this sort of support isn’t just social, but biological, too. Men, it turns out, are both physically and emotionally more fragile than women. Boys experienced a higher release of stress hormones than girls in response to a recording of a baby crying.

Boy foetus are more susceptible to miscarriage, birth defects, and developmental disabilities; boys cry more when they are upset; have a harder time calming down; and are more emotionally vulnerable to the ill effects of lack of affection. Men just tend to mask it better.

But the cracks are starting to show. Men, though historically inclined to equate needing help with being weak, are increasingly more likely to ask for support. That’s a good thing. The more open individuals are to expressing their needs—whether rational or less so—the less likely they are to either become problematically “needy,” or to be labelled as such. Whereas neediness was once the purview of the woman, there is, at last, awareness that emotional support and reassurance knows no gender.

Dreamers, Realists and Slackers

I was watching the Modern Family, and this episode was about dreamers and realists.

"There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You would think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists but... more often than not, the opposite is true. You see the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun. And the realists... well, without the dreamers; they might not ever get off the ground." -- Modern Family


There are three types of people that you will encounter in life: The dreamers, the realists, and the slackers.

It would be very difficult to classify yourself; you might think you fit into one of the two categories, either a dreamer or realists. You may outwardly believe you are a certain way, while at your core, you may be completely different.

Nobody one would put themselves in the slackers category. There are many who, in my opinion, that fall into to this category. Slackers are people who make a habit of avoiding work or lacks work ethic. A slacker is someone who while being intelligent, doesn't really feel like doing anything. A good example would be someone who gets Bs and As, while doing absolutely nothing other than playing video games on occasion. They are not dreamers or realists.

In all honesty I do not know which category that I fall into, for sure I don’t fall into the slacker’s category. I had to be more of a realist, but I been accused of being a dreamer. Life has bit me many times on the backside. Yet I still have my dreams, they keep me going.

Children are dreamers .............

Dream Your Dreams by Rebecca J. Burns

Close your eyes my little one
Close your eyes and dream
You can be anyone,
Anyone you dream
You can go anywhere,
do anything,
meet anyone
Just close your eyes and dream your dreams
Let your imagination take control
Take you on adventures never told
Just close your eyes my little one
Close your eyes and dream with me
You can fly above the mountains
You can swim beneath the sea
Its a great big world before us
Come along and dream with me
You can swing from every tree top
You can conquer every fear
There’s no need to be frightened
You’re not alone here in your dreams
Just open up your mind and let your dreams flow through
ts a great big world around us
Come on along and dream with me
Sweet dreams my little one

A child who does not play is not a child, but the man who does not play has lost forever the child who lived in him.  ~Pablo Neruda

The Dreamers
The advice of many people, do things when you still are young. Once you settle down, get married and raise a family, there is no longer time to do things that you wanted to do. You so busy working, earning an income to support your family, and raising your children. Yes, this is true, but a time comes in one life, when your children leave “the nest” and you got more time on your hands. You older now and you feel a lot differently from when you were younger.

PS!!  What i wanted to say, its never to late, to have dreams, to follow your heart, I really think that this is the best time in your life to become a dreamer, when you are older and can enjoy life to the fullest.

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.

Harriet Tubman

On the other hand, the time after you leave school and then study at university, because in this day and age it is not enough just to have a matric certificate. This is the start of following your dreams and also been a realists at the same time.

Regarding love, dreamers generally feel one of two ways. Maybe they seek to find a partner and fall in love in some whirlwind passion that incorporates adventure and impulse. They don't subscribe to everyone else's worries that the love story is irresponsible and unsustainable. Dreamers live for the present, and if presently they are in love, that's the priority. Alternatively, dreamers may seek multiple lovers.

A dreamer shares personal dreams with so much excitement that it's contagious. Dreamers may get riled up when cynics seem leery of their plans; to non-dreamers, these plans don't seem like plans at all, but rather, fantasies. While dreamers may feel alone and unsupported by doubters, they derive their inspiration from within. No one else's perspectives weigh in greatly enough to shift a dreamer's drive. Dreamers don't allow their fears to consume them; they may fail from time to time, but they never give up on life or love.


The Realists
When times are tough, the realists may wallow. However, while they exhibit stress externally, they remain strong to the core. Realists adhere to a schedule or plan. They work diligently — whether at a job, in a relationship or any other task at hand — and exude the notion that they have everything under control.

After graduating from school, realists stick to the “what's next” plan for the future. This may mean going to university or getting a job that leads to the next checkpoint on life's path, and the associated focus never falters. Maybe the plan is to work enough to afford a three-bedroom house with a family, a car and an annual holiday card. Realists may not abstractly consider different possibilities for where life can lead because of the confidence they have already devoted to an accepted plan.

While dreamers are more on the impulsive side, realists are more stubborn. Realists have dreams too, but these are more so rooted in ambition, drive and determination. They are goals that have been enumerated for some time. Realists understand that progress requires more than ambition and drive, but also, connections. They feel that life is never worry free because of survival, responsibility and… rent.

Both realists and dreamers see light at the end of tunnels, but in much different ways. But regardless, in order to get through life's struggles and the leaps of faith, it's important to remain true to yourself.

It's not always easy being the dreamer. You will constantly feel vulnerable to failure and embarrassment. There will always be spectators anticipating the moment you call it quits. Our society has evolved into a community that would rather see one crumble than succeed. The losses may be more public and painful, but the wins are far more rewarding.

The realists, their expectations are far less than the dreamers. They are quick to deny ideas and choose to live between the lines, never exploring what's beyond the horizon. For them success comes regularly but in small doses.

When you are a dreamer, you must establish some form of tunnel vision. There will be doubters along with individuals who take jabs at the wonderful things you are attempting to accomplish. These are the people who have the power to ultimately keep you from fulfilling those dreams. Not because those dreams are unattainable, but because it's easy to allow them to convince you of so. The moment you entertain their negativity is the moment you begin to question yourself.

Are realists the doubters? Not necessarily. They honestly are the reason ideas become tangible. They're capable of focusing on the project at hand while cautiously mapping out the plan to execute. Think of them as the stage crew. They work behind the scenes to make sure everyone is where they are supposed to be. They have thought of every situation and will make sure everyone is fully prepared. Without them, the show could potentially turn into a disaster.

But what most realists don't understand or appreciate is the fact that without the dreamers, there would be no show. The dreamers want to change the world because they truly believe they can. Without the dreamer's attitude that anything is possible, imagine where our world would be. For every innovative idea, there were those who initially laughed them off... until they became reality.

It's difficult not to wonder if the realists wish they could actually be dreamers. Whether they are too afraid of failure or they simply don't have the confidence to stick their neck out. Either way, it’s ironic, the dreamers, are those who wake up excited to make their dreams become reality while the realists wish they could stay in bed and fantasize about their dreams.